A trusted friend in Science

Dr Dominic Nathaniel Wyatt, PhD
Head of the Extended Relaxation Centre at Aperture Science

WE NEED ARTISTS!

aperture-monthly:

Aperture Monthly is looking for artists! Graphics and clipart are a big part of magazine design, and it has become apparant that the past issues have been a bit lacking in visual appeal. There’s only so much we can do, there are about three to four of us that work on every issue, and the majority of the time is taken up with writing, page layout, and choosing fonts.That’s where you come in. If you would be willing to draw for Aperture Monthly, even just one picture, it would mean the world to us.

Unfortunately, all of this would be volunteer work. We here know that drawing takes time, and we regret that we currently don’t have the finances to pay you for your work. We 110% understand that most people don’t like to work for free, and we don’t blame you. If there is anything we can do for you if you do decide to draw something for us, besides monetary exchange of course, we will try our best to do it! Just let us know what it is.

If you would like to give us a hand, (thank you!) here’s how it will work:
1. You submit something you have drawn to us. We look it over, and if we feel you would be a good fit for Aperture Monthly, we will contact you.
2. We will put your name on a list of artists to contact when we need graphics. If we need something right away, we will send you it. We will always try our best to include references and a detailed description, if you need more, don’t hesitate to ask.
3. If you feel you cannot draw what we have asked, or you do not want do, don’t worry! Just say no, it’s totally okay.
4. If you do decide to draw it, we will give you a preferred completion date. We will always leave room for us to get things together, so if you cannot finish it for this date, that is okay. We will also tell you what the latest day to have it done would be.
5. After you have completed the graphic, we will place it in the magazine. We will place a small disclaimer with the artist’s information on the page containing the graphic, as well as thank everyone on one of the final pages of the issue.
6. If there is something you wanted in return, (again, not money, sorry) we will try our best to do what you want.

Thank you for reading this ad! If you are interested in helping out, please contact us on our tumblr, or via email at aperturemonthly@gmail.com

Cave Johnson here.

cavejohnsonaperturedroid:

Today is April Fools Day. Now, I love a good joke as much as the next guy, but try to keep the horseplay out of the labs. Break room and cafeteria and places where we don’t have a bunch of expensive equipment lying around is fine. Don’t want a repeat of last year when Simmons dripped hydraulic…

And I Thought Romero Was Mad

apertureratt:

doctorwyatt:

apertureratt:

He hesitated.

"…You won’t turn on me?"

"If you turn into one of those things, I won’t hesitate to shoot you. Until then, no. I don’t see any reason to."

"And if I don’t turn, you promise - absolutely promise - that you won’t turn on me while I’m alive?"

He pauses for a few seconds.

"Yes. Unless you turn on my while I’m alive. Then, all bets are off."

And I Thought Romero Was Mad

apertureratt:

doctorwyatt:

apertureratt:

"Stuff their mouths with paper so they can’t bite."

He nods. “You do that, enjoy getting your arm bitten off. I’m going to head down towards the Mantis Men Chambers, they’re bound to keep a few rifles around there.

He starts down the hall.

"You coming?"

He hesitated.

"…You won’t turn on me?"

"If you turn into one of those things, I won’t hesitate to shoot you. Until then, no. I don’t see any reason to."

And I Thought Romero Was Mad

apertureratt:

doctorwyatt:

apertureratt:

"Just…tie them up."

"Tie them up as they try to eat us? Are you serious?!"

"Stuff their mouths with paper so they can’t bite."

He nods. “You do that, enjoy getting your arm bitten off. I’m going to head down towards the Mantis Men Chambers, they’re bound to keep a few rifles around there.

He starts down the hall.

"You coming?"

cubewhisperer:

doctorwyatt:

The guards drag him down a few halls, and into a few elevators before arriving in the Detainment Complex. The roughly toss him into a small room with a toilet and a bed, and close the heavy door behind him. It locks with a thunk. A male computerized voice comes on in his cell.

Good afternoon Subject! Please prepare for Testing. Your Testing will begin in four hours.

He sat nervously on the edge of the bed, prepared to spend the next four hours trying to come up with a plan. He knew he wouldn’t be able to break out of the cell, but escaping the test chamber, or on the path to and from it, seemed like his best chance.

After about an hour, a slot slid open in the door, and a plate of bread and a cup of some blue-ish liquid slid through.

Anonymous asked:
Daddy, a weird bald guy with a hat and sunglasses gave me blue rock candy.

"You shouldn’t accept candy from strangers. It could contain a poison, like ricin or something."

Send me anons as my kid.

warrior-mama:

cybertrons-gentle-giant:

rurounidrift:

spirit-girl-lie-rei:

wielderofmjollnir:

image

BONUS POINTS IF YOU NAME THE OTHER PARENT.

((Despite the fact that this is impossible for Drift, LET’S MEME IT UP ANYWAY.))

Why not)

((YES HELLO))

(Source: hellboundxwarrior)

I want you to kill my muse in the most twisted, explicit manner you can conceive of. If I’m too horrified to post it, you win.

(Source: angsty-askboxmemes)

imagineyouricon:

Imagine your icon wearing a fedora as they make rage comics.

And I Thought Romero Was Mad

apertureratt:

doctorwyatt:

apertureratt:

"There may be hope of turning them back…"

"But they’re trying to kill us Doug. It’s just self-defense."

"Just…tie them up."

"Tie them up as they try to eat us? Are you serious?!"

And I Thought Romero Was Mad

apertureratt:

asktheaperturelabboy:

apertureratt:

asktheaperturelabboy:

“Y- yes.” he pauses to think for a second. “But we might need weapons or something, a pipe maybe. J- just to keep them back if we encounter any.”

“Y-you can take a w-weapon, but there’s no way I’m hurting anyone…”

“B- but are they really people still?”

"There may be hope of turning them back…"

"But they’re trying to kill us Doug. It’s just self-defence."

Anonymous asked:
Fatal Asshole Syndrome and/or Dingus Dingus

(( I like Fatal Asshole Syndrome ))

What mental health disorder could you see my character being diagnosed with?

(Source: inboxideas)

APERTURE MONTHLY - MARCH 2014

aperture-monthly:

We welcome your feedback! Feel free to send us an ask with any questions, comments, or concerns that you may have. We hope you enjoy this issue of Aperture Monthly!

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